The world of manipulation

I want to go to the movie, but I know you do not have time.

If you loved me, you would take me for vacation this year.

These kinds of generic statements we receive many times in different form and ways from different people related to us.

They are innocent statements unless otherwise observed. In sheer innocence hidden is a pattern, a consistent way to shake our self-worth, to question our perception.

Only a person who is strong headed can deal with these gentle accusations. But most of us do not know what is happening with us.

Only our body, our feelings are true to us as they make us feel good and bad. wanted and unwanted, sacred, and strong. They are the mirror for us should we wish to see ourselves in the mirror. As most of the time we do not because of distraction, not able to make up our mind what to do?

Welcome to the world of manipulation.

What is manipulative behaviour? It can include any or all the following techniques:

Gaslighting
Passive-aggressive behaviour
Lying and blaming
Threats and coerciveness
Withdrawal and withholding
Isolation

A manipulator emotionally exploits other people to influence and control them. They want to exert their dominance on others to get what they want.

Consequences of Manipulation

A constant need to defend yourself.
A lack of safety in the relationship
A lack of trust in your partner
A serious sense of self-doubt
Frequent apologizing, even when you believe you did nothing wrong.
Frequent feelings of confusion, dissatisfaction, hurt, resentment, anger, exhaustion, and frustration
Overall discontentment with the relationship

Why Manipulators Act the Way They Do?

The classic manipulators indulge in such behaviour to protect their ego. They do not want to take ownership of their behaviour. avoid responsibility. They try to punish, control, and dominate other people. They reduce the self-worth of the individual to meet their insecure needs.

How to Respond to Manipulative Behaviour

Do not Minimize Manipulation, address it. Face it. Talk about it. Make the person realize what is happening, do not let the conversation slip away.

Set Boundaries: You cannot allow people to walk all over you, just because you are not very assertive, does not give right to the other person to say or do what they feel like.

Seek Help: Still cannot manage, seek professional help.

Finally, do not be too hard on yourself.

Show Yourself Compassion