Assumptions—Why Our Minds Reach for Shortcuts (And How to Reach for Better Ones)

Sometimes our brains take little shortcuts. These shortcuts are called “assumptions.” An assumption is when we decide something is true without really checking. We do this because our brains are busy and tired, and guessing feels faster than finding facts.

Imagine you text your friend and they don’t answer. Your brain might say, “They’re mad at me!” That’s an assumption. Maybe their battery died. Maybe they’re doing homework. Maybe they didn’t see it yet. See how easy it is to guess the wrong thing?

Why do we assume?

• Our brains like to save energy. Thinking carefully takes time. Guessing is quick.

• We don’t like not knowing. It feels uncomfortable, so we grab the first idea that seems to fit.

• Big, loud memories trick us. If something scary or exciting happened once, we might think it happens a lot.

• Friends and groups matter. If everyone says one thing, we might believe it without checking.

What can go wrong?

• We hurt feelings by guessing what someone meant.

• We make bad plans because we think things will be easy and fast.

• We miss good ideas because we only look at what we already believe.

How can we do better?

• Pause and ask: “What are the facts?” and “What am I just guessing?”

• Think of at least three possible reasons, not just one. “Maybe they’re busy. Maybe they forgot. Maybe the phone is off.”

• Ask questions kindly: “Hey, did you see my message?” instead of, “Why are you mad?”

• Check what usually happens. If homework usually takes an hour, don’t assume it will take ten minutes today.

• Start small and safe. Try a tiny step first to see if your idea works.

A quick trick you can use

• 3 facts: What do I really know?

• 3 guesses: What might be true, but I’m not sure?

• 3 choices: What could I do next?

Everyone makes assumptions. That’s normal! The goal isn’t to never guess. The goal is to notice when you’re guessing, check your guess, and be ready to change your mind when you learn more. When we do that, we make better choices, treat people more fairly, and feel calmer—because our speed comes from clear thinking, not from jumping to the wrong conclusion.